An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay. It's a death row pardon two minutes too late. It's like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid. It's the good advice that you just didn't take.

        Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice..."

         A traffic jam when you're already late. A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. It's meeting the man of my dreams. And then meeting his beautiful wife.

Isn't it ironic...?